Create Your Community

Photo by Cristina Cerda

Photo by Cristina Cerda

We all want to belong. To have a community - a tribe - of people that "gets us". It feels awesome! A girlfriend to call when the most embarrassing moment of our lives happens, knowing she will hang onto every word. Couples you can text to pop over for an easy Friday night supper without you feeling stressed that your kids toys are scattered all over the floor, spinning you into full house redecorating mode.

But sometimes we find ourselves lost without a tribe. We might have moved away. Or evolved spiritually in a different direction. But we still yearn for community.

So how do we create a tribe that "gets us"?

It may be simpler than we think. Rather than admire people from afar hoping to be friends (recipe for anxiety, trust me) or think our community is made up of all the "likes" on a social media site, we focus our attention inward and express our REAL SELF. We let go of the facade and bring our real-special-crazy-self forward, putting others at ease to share themselves too.  

How do we know if we are expressing our real self?  A few questions might help. Do you naturally share your creative passions with people? If you love to dress in flowery skirts over jeans with cowgirl boots do you do it or keep that dream stuck in your closet? When you feel sad, do you smile and pretend life is perfect or can you share your vulnerability with someone you trust? Can you easily invite a few people over for dinner when you are feeling overworked and disconnected without anxiety bubbling up that your house is a mess (resulting in you on your hands and knees cleaning baseboards)? 

If you aren't fully there yet, be compassionate with yourself. Commit to taking one little step every day to sharing YOU with others. In no time, the real you will be out and you'll have your community - the people that love and accept you - sitting next to you enjoying life.  

If we start living our real self, moment by moment, we will create a world fueled by authenticity and compassion.